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 Abraham Lure and the Last Meech Munchie

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PostSubject: Abraham Lure and the Last Meech Munchie   Mon Feb 09, 2009 7:57 am

ABRAHAM LURE AND THE LAST MEECH MUNCHIE
Prologue: Chapter 1: The Initial Friendship Between Them

100,000 years ago, much of Oddworld was covered in a thick, dense forest with an occasional desert or grassland. There were no giant factories that we know today. At that time, Abe's Moon was just a regular moon that, along with many others, circled the huge planet of Oddworld
Deep inside of the vast forest that covered most of Mudos, there was an ancient town called Sloggadon. It was called so, because it was a tradition for everyone to own a Slog. Slogs were brought here about 2 thousand years ago, by Sligs. Now, they were kept as traditional pets in every Sloggadon household. Everyone was welcome in the town, but most of its inhabitants were Mudokons and Glukkons. They all lived in simple mud-brick houses, and only wore simple loincloths. Every day, the young Mudokons would go outside of their simple homes, and play with their Glukkon friends. The Glukkons didn't even think of having Mudokon slaves. That's how everyone lived on Mudos 100,000 years ago. But all that was about to change due to an asteroid storm that was coming near...

Prologue: Chapter 2: Abe's Moon

It was a cloudless morning in Sloggadon, perfect for looking at the sky. At this time strange things happened at the House of the Queens, where the Mudokon Queen Monsaic, and the Glukkon Queen Magog lived. Monsaic and Magog's favorite hobby was to look at the sky every night, and this was a perfect, cloudless day. The Bigface came to their house at night, and said: "Don't look at the sky tonight, even if you want to. If you look at the sky tonight, a great war will come, and it will go on for thousands of years!" But the Queens didn't listen. "How can looking at the sky hurt you?!" Monsaic said. "I have never heard of anyone dying just because they looked at the sky!" Magog said. But the Bigface insisted: "Don't look at the sky tonight, if you want to stay alive!"
The Mudokons and Glukkons the most of Sloggadon's population. But the town was als inhabited by Sligs. These Sligs came there from a nearby desert they called "Scrabania". They said that there are scary, tall creatures everywhere in that desert. The Sligs were welcome at Sloggadon, and they were even give a pair of mechanical legs -- a new invention -- to walk with. The Sligs told of their Queen lying somewhere in Scrabania, and the Sloggadon Army was given instructions on how to bring the Slig queen to Sloggadon. All this happened 5 years ago, and the army didn't return yet.
Monsaic and Magog looked at the sky so much, that they knew every moon that circled Oddworld. They liked to point at each moon, and say how they recognise it. This night, they told everyone at Sloggadon to come and look at the sky with them. The Queens are so huge, that the whole city can hear them. They began to point at the moons, and tell everyone about them. "I know these moons!" said Monsaic. "That one is small, with a few small craters, that one is large, and would you just look at the huge crater, and that one is..." The Queens were so surprised, that they opened their mouths. They were looking at a huge monn they thought they knew, but something was weird about it. It had a huge crater now, and the weird thing was that the crater was shaped like a Mudokon's paw! An old Mudokon whispered: "I know what this means. It means we are the chosen race!" Suddenly, all Mudokons were cheering and yelling: "We are the chosen race! Glukkons are losers!" Magog got very angry. She yelled: "I declare..." , but she couldn't finish, because she suddenly saw a large field of light moving toward them. She heard a familiar voice: " We found the Slig Queen!" Magog yelled to them: " The Mudokons think they're the chosen race, and they're calling us losers! I declare war!" The Slig Queen yelled: " The Glukkons are right! We're on the Glukkons' side!" Now that both the Glukkons and Sligs were against them, the Mudokons knew they were going to be defeated. The only thing the could do is wait...

Prologue: Chapter 3: The Outcomes of the War

The Mudokons got scared. Quickly, they ran into their homes. All but Monsaic, who was too fat to run. Magog yelled: "Kill Monsaic, the Mudokon sucker! If she dies, there will be no more Mudokons! No more living waste will exist in my city! THIS IS MY CITY! GIVE ME ALL OF MONSAIC'S MONEY! I WILL BE RICH! GET THAT STUPID LOINCLOTH OFF ME, AND MAKE ME A LARGE SUIT! I AM THE QUEEN!!!!!" All of the Slig and Glukkon army ran at Monsaic. Monsaic couldn't do anything. She laid one last egg, and a shower of poisoned arrows covered her entire body. She was dead. And suddenly, everyone saw a light. It was the Bigface. The Bigface took Monsaic's last egg, and looked at it. It was an extremely large egg.The Bigface took the egg, and teleported.
Magog has never been happier in her life. "Dump Monsaic's body in the dirtiest place you can find!" she said to her army. She turned around, but Monsaic's body was gone. She quickly yelled: "WHERE IS HER BODY?! I WANT HER BODY RIGHT NOW!!!!" Curt the Slig was the leader of the Slig army. "The Shaman with the long mask took her, when he teleported." he said. "Well, he's probably in a dirty place anyway." she said. "Curt, come inside my house! I want to talk to you!" Curt nervously folowed Magog inside her house. "I want to know, how Slurgs like you can live in a desert. You say Scrabania is a desert." Magog said. " We are not native to Scrabania. We originally are from the grassy swamps of Meechonia. For thousands of years, Meechonia has been our home. But some of the things about Meechonia are not as good as you might think. There is a large number of dangerous creatures called Meeches there. We got scared of them, so we had to move. So we did. We always moved in one direction. Finally, we came to a greater danger than Meeches: a desert. Luckily we found oasises there, so we just moved from oasis to oasis. We lived near the oasis lakes. After we got used to an oasis, we decided to explore the desert, and found some very creepy animals called Scrabs. We tried to go back to Meechonia, but the lake near the previous oasis dried up. We just had to move forward. Finally, we found some mountains. When we got past them, that's when we got to Sloggadon. This all happened a long time ago, only the move to Sloggadon is recent. I found out the rest from our Queen." Curt said. "An interesting story" Magog said. "Let's get back to our recent issues. Why do we use poisoned arrows as weapons, just like Mudokons? We need a more advanced weapon. "Codar, our inventor, says he's doing experiments with all kinds of things. Once, he managed an explosion. We might get a good weapon soon."
The Bigface teleported himself to a jungle, far from Sloggadon. Near him, was lying the dead body of the dead queen Monsaic. "All the Mudokons need to live here now. Sloggadon is not safe anymore" he thought. "This will be a holy place. I've heard 3 powerful animals live near here: Scrabs, Paramites, and Meeches. I think they are sacred. This place will be called Monsaic Lines, in honor of Monsaic, the Queen who died because of her former friend." He looked at the egg, and thought: "This is obviously a Queen egg. A new Queen will hatch. She will be named Kundo (one of ancient Mudokon words for 'peace'. I made it up.). She will live here, and Mudokons will be safe. Three temples will be built: The Scrabanian Temple, the Paramonian Temple, and the Meechonian Temple." The Bigface was about to leave, when he heard a crack. "The egg is hatching." the Bigface thought. He turned around, and went deep inside the jungle. Finally, he arrived at a field, completely surrounded by jungle. "I will leave the egg here. The Spirits told me it's a safe place. Caves will be built here. This will be a peaceful place for all the Mudokons to live in." he thought. He left the egg in the middle of the field, and went back to the village."I can't teleport right now" he thought. "The Mudokons will bury Monsaic's body."
Magog took all the money from the Mudokons. The Glukkons made her a large suit, and were busy making smaller suits for themselves. The Sligs came back from their search for Monsaic's body. "We did not find Monsaic's body" Curt said. "But we did find several other towns where Glukkons live." "Where is one of them?" Magog asked. "What do you want with it?" Curt asked. "I want to make an agreement. A cartel. We can form a country." Magog said. "It's in that direction." Curt pointed. Magog went there with only the Glukkon army leader, and Curt to accompany her. The problem was, that Curt pointed in the wrong direction. Magog was going straight to Monsaic Lines, where the Mudokons of Sloggadon and nearby towns already went by the Bigface's warning.
Magog traveled, and traveled. Finally she found a jungle. She was large, so she could see far. She saw Mudokons, or at least specks that looked like Mudokons. What she couldn't see, is the bows and arrows that the Mudokons had.
Hundreds of Mudokons were living their life in Monsaic Lines, when they saw the familiar to some Glukkon Queen. "MAGOG, HOW DARE YOU KILL OUR QUEEN!!!!" the Bigface yelled. "KILL THE GLUKKON TRAITOR!!!!" "NOO...", Magog started yelling, but she was silenced by the storm of poisoned arrows that the Mudokons shot at her. Curt, and the Glukkon army leader ran away.
Deep, inside the jungle, the Glukkon army leader (named Hurar) took a large egg out of the pocket of his own suit. "It's a Glukkon Queen egg! We will have a new Queen! Now, let's go to those towns to create a country. We will call the agreement the Magog Cartel, in honor of Magog."
SEVERAL YEARS LATER
"Revenge" Duba, the new Glukkon Queen said at a country meeting. " We have to capture the Mudokon Queen, and keep her here. The eggs she lays will turn into slaves for us!" The Glukkon army had to go back to Monsaic Lines.
The Mudokons were peacefully working on the caves, when they saw a huge army of Sligs with advanced weapons moving toward them. "Don't move, or I'll shoot you with my new gun!" yelled Kurt, showing an advanced weapon. "We will take your queen away! She will still live!" They took the Kundo away. After they were gone, th Bigface appeared. "You should have stopped them!" he said. "Our race faces slavery for thousands of years!"
And so it did. The 2 queens between whom the fighting began became known as the Queens of War.
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PostSubject: Re: Abraham Lure and the Last Meech Munchie   Mon Feb 09, 2009 7:59 am

I have to double-post, because if I put all the current chapters and the new Chapter 3 into one post, I get a message saying the post is too big.

Chapter 1: A Strange Dream

"Hey, Richard, I got the Employee of the Year award!" Abe said. "I know! Good job!" Richard said. Abe and Richard were regular slaves at Rupture Farms, the biggest meat processing plant on Oddworld, owned by Moluck the Glukkon. Abe was a regular Mudokon, whose full name was Abraham Lure. Richard was strange. he was an old Mudokon, very old, and he did strange things while no one was looking. Abe saw him drawing something, and then pacing, when he was alone. This happened when Richard was in a small room the slaves lived in, and he was scrubbing the floor somewhere near. Once Richard noticed Abe watching him, he stopped. Last week, Abe got the Employee of the Year award. He was the only slave who did extra work, when all the other slaves were too tired. Abe always persevered, when he had an important goal.
"Shut up, you worthless scum!" the Slig watcher said. He went up to the 2 floor-scrubbers, and started beating them. "Don't you see the freakin' sign, you [C-word]?!" He pointed at the sign, which said: "NO TALKING TO FELLOW EMPLOYEES" "Employees? More like slaves." Richard muttered. "Are you deaf?! I said: No talking, you worthless pieces of garbage! You're lucky Molluck doesn't allow me to use my gun!" the Slig guard said, beating Richard 12 more times. Abe continued scrubbing the floor, working like a machine. Even though he did his job properly, the Slig guard hit him. Abe ignored him, and continued working. He knew that if he doesn't complain about his life, the Sligs won't be so mean to him. The Slig hit him another time, and as Abe ignored him, the Slig muttered: "It never works! Why is he so stubborn?" The Slig threw some dirt at Abe, and started drinking a new, but already popular drink called SoulStorm Brew. The bottle was small, so he drank it in one gulp, and threw it at Richard. Abe continued scrubbing. The floor of the corridor near the slave room, which was initially covered in blood, was completely clean. It was the end of the day, so when Abe and Richard finished, they, along with other slaves, went to the small slave room to sleep. Abe was very tired from working all day, so he fell to the pile of hay, which was his bed, and instantly fell asleep. He had a strange dream:
Abe was surrounded by chanting Mudokons in some kind of jungle. The Mudokons were chanting all together, and it was really loud. Then, another Mudokon appeared. This Mudokon wore a weird long mask. He told Abe to chant too. Abe started to chant, and turned into a monster. He was horrified. Suddenly, he turned back into a Mudokon, and closed his eyes.
When he opened his eyes, he was back at Rupture Farms. He was on the second floor, and he could see what was hapening on the first floor. Several Sligs were holding a weird looking Slig, was struggling to escape them. One of the Sligs said: "It's the albino Slig! Take him to Skilliya!" Abe couldn't look. He closed his eyes, but when he opened them, he was inside a strange building. Around him, small green worms were slapping him with something strong. Abe suddenly thought of a very strange word: Huahur. He saw a circle of birds, and started to chant. And something unexpected happened. The circle of birds turned into something he never saw before. He heard a voice in his mind: "Jump into the birds!" He jumped into what used to be the circle of birds, and he got back into Rupture Farms. He let out a sigh of relief, but suddenly got terrified again. He saw more green worms crawling up to him. Before he closed his eyes again, he saw a Meech Munchie wrapper. When he opened his eyes, he was back at the jungle with the masked Mudokon. The masked Mudokon said: "You must stop him!", and Abe really woke up.

Chapter 2: The New Guard and the Newspaper

Richard heard Abe muttering in his dream: "Huahur. What's Huahur. NO!!!!!"
Abe suddenly screamed. Richard went up to him, and started to shake him that's how Abe woke up.

"Is everything all right?" Richard asked, even though he knew that it wasn't.

"I had a weird dream!" Abe said. "It had creepy green worms with 2 mouths, and long tongues in it!"

"Fleeches." Richard said. "They were Fleeches. They are very dangerous. If they hit you several times with their knife-sharp tongues, you're dead."

"Richard, I have a question." Abe asked. "What's Huahur?"

"It's um... I'll tell you later." Richard said quickly. "Let's go do our work. I have to clean the Paramite Packaging, and you have to clean the Slog Kennels." He rushed off, but Abe saw the shocked look on his face after he asked about Huahur. Now, Abe was certain that Richard was hiding something from him. He quickly ran to the Slog Kennels to do his work.

"You're late, you freakin' piece of [C-word]!" screamed the Slig guard. "How can you get here at 5:03, when you're supposed to come at 5:20?!" The Slig started to beat Abe, but stopped when he saw Molluck appear. Molluck never came to look what his employees are doing, so everyone was surprised.

"To the Boardroom, Roger." Molluck said to the Slig. They went to the Boardroom. Abe was always interested in Board Meetings, but he never saw one. This was his chance. He started to sneak behind them. It was risky, but Abe thought it was worth it. When Molluck and Roger went inside, Abe quickly ran upstairs, and started to look through the door above the Boardroom.

"We have a new guard who wants to work here: Becrot!" Molluck said, as a Slig went to stand next to Molluck. It was a very weird Slig, who was obviously muttering to himself: "Must get steroids become BigBro get there..."

"Hi everyone!" Becrot said. He had a normal Slig voice, which was surprising for Abe. "I am Becrot, and I would like to get a job here, at Rupture Farms, as a slave guard!" Abe was very interested in hearing the rest, when he got hit in the head with something that felt like paper. He turned around, and found an old issue of The Daily Deception on the ground. Abe had never been outside Rupture Farms, but he was still interested in the outside world. He opened the newspaper. It had articles like "Laughing Gas: Keep Your Slaves From Escaping!" and "Elum Chubs: Alternative to Meech Munchies Postponed!", but the article that he really found interesting was "Motswek the Albino Slig: New Information About Escapee!" This is the article:
When the albino Slig larva named Motswek before he was even born escaped from the Birthing Complex, many Sligs tried to find him, bt it seemed like he just disappeared. Now, Ted, a guard at Rupture Farms, claims that he saw him in the Free-Fire Zone of the factory. Here's what he told us:
"I spent all day doing my job, making sure the slaves don't escape, so at the end of the day, I was tired. I went to the Free-Fire Zone to rest. I made a campfire, and stayed there for the night. In the middle of the night, I saw something Slig-like crawling near me. I looked at it closer, and saw that it was a Slig. The weird thing about him was that he looked very white. Then, I saw that he didn't wear a mask, so I quickly closed my eyes. When I opened them, he was gone."
We will have to look for the ugly mutant near the Free-Fire Zone, so Molluck will have to allow other Sligs to come there.

When Abe finished the work at Slog Kennels, he ran to the slave room, where Richard was already sitting on the old pile of hay. Abe told him about the new Slig, who came here to work, and the newspaper article about Motswek. "Very unusual things are happening in the outside world" Abe said. "You know how you always say being a good employee for the kind, loving Glukkons isn't as incredibly perfect as it usually is"

"Yes, of course I do." Richard said, remembering that time about a week ago when they had argued about the safety of the factory. Abe thought the argument was pointless, considering the fact that there were only 1236 work related accidents last months, and that was 7 times less than in FlubCo Fat Fuels.

"Well, after 15 long years spent at this factory, I have to finally agree with you." Abe said. "I didn't even know about Motswek until now. Even the existence of an albino Slig should be a shock. So tonight, I am going out of our excellent bedroom to find more news on the outside world."

"Don't!" Richard insisted, and went to sleep. When he woke up in the middle of the night, he saw that Abe wasn't there. Richard was very worried, so he got up, and decided to look for him.

As I read over my chapters, I understood that they weren't as good as they were supposed to be. But I only started. So here is a new chapter of this story.
Chapter 3: Richard’s Story

"This is it! I will finally find out everything I need about the outside world!", Abe muttered to himself as he walked through an old Meech pen somewhere in the abandoned part of the factory. He had already got past the Slig security patrolling the doors of his employee lounge by sneaking in the shadows that surrounded it. The only Slig who spotted him was Becrot, who, surprisingly, let him go. Abe supposed the new Slig was inexperienced. Abe couldn't find anything exciting enough to capture his attention in the kennel, when he spotted a small piece of paper lying in a dark corner. He picked it up, and he read: "Annual Board Meeting Tonight". If this piece of paper didn't look or feel so new, Abe would have thought it was for and old Annual Board Meeting. For a moment, he wondered how such recent news got in an old, abandoned pen, but then he got a crazy idea. Out of all the board meetings he had heard about, the Annual Board Meetings, by the sounds of them, were the most exciting ones. Each year, the day after an Annual Board Meeting, Sligs were always seen discussing new products. Only last year, he went through everyone's expectations of the Meech Munchie alternative, Elum Chubs, making trillions of Moolah after the results of a taste test in which a poor Glukkon Pud tried one of the last Meech Munchies, and compared the taste to an Elum Chub. Unfortunately, Khanzumerz complained about the revolting smell of Elums, and the product became postponed. Now, Abe wondered what those Gluks think of next. Excitement flooded him as he hurried to the door above the Boardroom to listen to Molluck's new plans.
"How did Abe manage to get past Becrot?!" wondered Richard as he watched the strange Slig from behind the bars of the employee lounge. He something suspicious as he ran to a room with a conveyor belt, looking looking like he just saw a ghost. When Abe reached the door above the Boardroomhas been walking around his door for such a long time, Richard began to believe the rumor that Sligs don't need sleep. But then, Richard thought, Becrot was crazy. As he watched the Slig walk around and around, Richard had a suspicion that he was pacing. He began to think that this weird Slig had a plot to take over the factory. And then a thought occured to him. He looks like he's crazy enough to not notice me getting out of here, he thought. And he went out. The Sligs forgot to lock the door because, Richard remembered, of the excitement about the annual board meeting that would occur tonight. This is why Richard decided to look near the Boardraam first.
Abe had managed to get to the Boardroom safely. Once again he ran into Becrot, who was more scared than he was. Abe thought that the Slig was more than weird, he thought that there was something suspicious about how he ran into a large room with a conveyor belt, looking like he had seen a ghost. After this happened, Abe managed the rest of the way without meeting any Sligs. When he got there and started looking through the door, he saw that the meeting already started. There were graphs showing the profit over this year for the 2 most popular RuptureFarms products: Scrab Cakes and Paramite Pies. Abe saw that the profit went down. The Glukkons started shouting at Molluck. But Molluck told his assistant Toast to "Show 'em" the new product they were planning. Now Abe was starting to get very excited. Since the beginning of the week, there were posters around the factory saying that something "New 'n' Tasty" was to be released in the future.Now, Toast pressed a button on a control panel, and a picture of a Mudokon head on a stick appeared on the large screen that previously shown graphs! This product was called Mudokon Pops! Now Abe was shaking so violently, he almost fell through the door into the Boardroom! Abe turned away from the horrible screen, and ran. And he bumped right into Richard, who was walking the opposite way.
"What are you doing here?" Abe asked.
"I could ask you the same thing!" Richard answered.
"I was listening to the Board Meeting, and you wouldn't believe what I find out!" And Abe told him about the horrible Mudokon Pops poster.
"I knew it would come to this" Richard said. "I knew ever since I was enslaved in this horrible factory. Have you ever wondered where Mudokons come from?"
"No. Where?"
"You have probably heard of the Slig Queen Skillya. Maybe, you have even heard of the Glukkon Queen Margaret. Well, we Mudokons have queens too... or one queen. Far away, there is a large flying saucer. The Sligs around there refer to the giant saucer as Vykkers' Labs. Now, you have probably heard of the Vykkers. Well, the place is owned by two of the richest, greediest Vykkers on the continent of Mudos: the Vykkers brothers, Humphrey and Irwin. There is a rumor a third brother named Brackson exists. Well, Humphrey and Irwin have the only remaining Mudokon Queen, Sam. This is where we come from. This is why we are all slaves since birth. The life which we live isn’t a good life. It is the only life we know. Now, I was originally a slave at another factory Molluck owns: SoulStorm Brewery. I had what I considered a perfect life…until I found out that the main ingredient of the Brew, the bones of the creatures slaughtered here at RuptureFarms, were to be replaced with Mudokon bones because of a bone shortage. There were three of us who escaped: me and my best friends, Alf and Buddy. We escaped by hiding in a Blimp that was to ship Brew to another continent, Dundaros, which is close to Mudos. Alf and I managed to jump off the Blimp just as it took off. Buddy, unfortunately, got stuck on the Blimp, and is now on another continent. It wasn’t a long fall for us, and we hid in a forest near the factory grounds. We had spent a year traveling in the forest until finding a native Mudokon sanctum. It was called the Monsaic Sanctum. We were taught about the way Mudokons are enslaved there, and the way the only native Mudokons are the escaped slaves. I lived in a nearby for 5 years, and found out what it is like to be a free Mudokon. After the peaceful 5 years, a giant army of armored BigBro Sligs arrived. Alf, at that time, was inside the his house planning on making something called Alf’s Rehab and Tea, because the Brew is addictive, and sick Mudokons coming to the village would have to be cured. I, on the other hand, was outside, and I was dragged off to a Blimp that led to here. This happened 2 years ago. For 2 long years, I have been planning to escape. Now that you found out what it’s like to be a slave, we can both escape together. And this is useful for me to have you on my side.”
“Why is that?”
“I have learned many things in Monsaic Sanctum. One of the things I have learned, is that blue skin marks a special spiritual ability: If you chant near a Slig, you are able to get your soul inside him and possess him. This is just what we will need to break through all the Slig security around the exit out of RuptureFarms.”
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PostSubject: Re: Abraham Lure and the Last Meech Munchie   Wed Feb 18, 2009 4:11 am

I think I should post a chapter list
Prologue

Chapter 1: The Initial Friendship Between Them
Chapter 2: Abe's Moon
Chapter 3: The Outcomes of the War
Story

Chapter 1: A Strange Dream
Chapter 2: The New Guard and the Newspaper
Chapter 3: Richard's Story
Chapter 4: Possessing a Slig
Chapter 5: Breaking Through
Chapter 6: The Kinto Pen
Chapter 7: Scrabs, Paramites, and Elums
Chapter 8: The Free-Fire Zone
Chapter 9: Bigface
Chapter 10: Monsaic Lines
Chapter 11: Alf
Chapter 12: Dripik's Decision
Chapter 13: The 3 Wells
Chapter 14: Paramonia
Chapter 15: The Guard Forest
Chapter 16: Inside the Temple
Chapter 17: The Hidden Story Stone
Chapter 18: The Paramite Queen
Chapter 19: Spirit Rings
Chapter 20: Scrabania
Chapter 21: The Slig Lake
Chapter 22: Into Scrabanian Temple
Chapter 23: The Slog Kennel
Chapter 24: Shrykull
Chapter 25: The Kinto Plot
Chapter 26: Security Invades
Chapter 27: The Broken Well
Chapter 28: Meechonia
Chapter 29: The Mystery of the Grassland
Chapter 30: Breaking Into Meechonian Temple
Chapter 31: Huahur
Chapter 32: The Last Meech Munchie
Chapter 33: The Fleech Nest
Chapter 34: Plans to Return
Chapter 35: The Infiltration of the Stockyards
Chapter 36: The Kinto Revolt
Chapter 37: Spying on Becrot
Chapter 38: The Munchie Lost
Chapter 39: The Conveyor System
Chapter 40: The Slig Union
Chapter 41: The Prison
Chapter 42: Buddy's Return
Chapter 43: The South Meech Diet
Chapter 44: The Great Auction of the Last Meech Munchie
Chapter 45: Back to the Sanctum
Epilogue

Chapter 1: SoulStorm Boilers
Chapter 2: The Fleech Gathering

In my fanfic Paramite speak will be between *s. Fleech speak (Fleeches can talk) will be between ~s. The epilogue is like the beginning of my next fanfic, Abraham Lure and the Fleech Revenge.
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PostSubject: Re: Abraham Lure and the Last Meech Munchie   Fri Feb 20, 2009 1:08 am

I've read these through and noticed an increase of improvement... However I feel Abe's vocabulary and personality is off (Hard to get his personality done right actually.), and how can you be late if the time is 5:03 and your meant to be there 5:20? That would make you early... lol!

You know what I've been way too harsh on you. My own fan-fic is no better. But there's only one way to improve so... Just continue. From what the chapter names are I feel this could actually end up reasonably epic. Problem is... It's a little hard to step into Abe's shoes and make him say the right things. And I though Abe was working late when he heard the board thing...
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PostSubject: Re: Abraham Lure and the Last Meech Munchie   Sat Mar 14, 2009 10:44 pm

My stories won't be identical to the games.
Chapter 4: Possessing a Slig

"Are you sure about this?" Abe asked. Even though he trusted Richard, he still was aware of the possibility that this was a prank Richard set up to make Abe sing. On the other hand, Abe always wondered why his skin was blue and not green like the other Mudokons'.
"This information was given to me by the our spiritual leader himself. No one knows his real name, but his title is Bigface, the highest of the Shamans. He has never got anything wrong." Richard said.
"Okay. So when do we escape?" Abe asked. He was anxious to know, now that he had to risk his life to leave his home.
"Now!" Richard said.
"Now!? But-"
"No buts. I am older and wiser than you. We are currently in an old Slog pen. Sligs don't come here anymore. And Becrot is a perfect Slig to possess."
"Okay." Abe said nervously. And they went back to their employee lounge. When they got there, they were taken by surprise. Never, in the 15 years Abe worked here, did they find the doors of the lounge unguarded.
"Where IS Becrot?" Abe wondered.
"Obviously not here. Let's find him. He's the safest Slig to possess." Richard answered.
They didn't have to search far. As the 2 Mudokons went into the room closest to their employee lounge, they found Becrot at the far end, talking to himself by a conveyor belt. And then something extremely strange happened. A barrel suddenly appeared on the conveyor belt, but it had a sign on it. Not the RuptureFarms logo, like all other barrels, but a weird sign, showing what looked like a Slig and a tree. At the same time, Becrot Shouted "There he is!" and jumped on the conveyor belt just behind the strange barrel.
"This Slig creeps me out. Possessing him might be dangerous. Let's find someone else." Becrot said.
"Yes, let's go." said Abe. He was happy to get himself away from Becrot.

Becrot was anxious. He was trying to knock the barrel to the ground, but it was too risky. And no matter what happened, he couldn't get that barrel into the market. Not the barrel that contained... The thought terrified him. He needed to get that barrel on a different conveyor belt. He needed to use that barrel to get to the Room of the Key. The room that contained...
"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" Becrot got caught by a Slig. He was terrified at first, but then he saw that the Slig was weaponless. And a meat grinder was in the room. Becrot gathered up all his strength, picked up the Slig, and threw him into the meat grinder. He missed, but you'd miss too if you tried to throw a Slig into a moving meat grinder while riding a conveyor belt. Luckily, the Slig was thrown into a wall with such force, he was unconscious. Becrot continued riding until he reached the abandoned Slog pen Abe and Richard were in a short time ago. He finally managed to pick up the heavy barrel, and jump off the conveyor belt with it.
"Wrong conveyor belt again." Becrot said."But at least you're safe."
Abe and Richard were wandering around the factory, looking for Sligs to possess, but none of them were easy targets. they finally came to a room with a Slig that was lying against the wall.
"Just another sleeping Slig" said Abe.
"No." Richard said."I think he is unconscious. Someone must have punched him hard. Well, now is the time to test your special ability."
Abe started chanting. He never learned how to chant. He just had that knowledge for as long as he remembered. As soon as he started chanting, he felt his spirit left him. And now he felt like he was waking up after being punched hard.
"Wow" he said, as he looked at his mechanical pants.
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Oddey
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PostSubject: Re: Abraham Lure and the Last Meech Munchie   Sun Mar 15, 2009 2:13 am

Oddly enough, the crusty mean old Oddey is begining to be a little more fond of this.
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Abraham Lure and the Last Meech Munchie
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